Digital Vacation

I am taking a lovely little holiday from all things computer related.

Mainly because I have loads of crap to do that won’t get done otherwise but you know, life.

Eugh that was vague wasn’t it? Actually, a friend’s fiance is quite ill and I’m going to be there as a shoulder. Fitting this in with my life means I’ll be in no mood for all this PC shit too.

There’s a reason I did that old person post today – I won’t have to read the hate mail for a while.

Have a good holiday season everyone and be safe, head on over to Cape Town News or whoever else and get the hell out of here ‘cos there’s stuff all going on.

Suicide at 60 should be compulsary for some people

I have decided that I will most likely kill myself when I reach 60. It seems like a good number. Purely for the reason that I do not want to be one of these old people that I want to poke, trip and generally hit with my car.

This isn’t all the old people though, just a few, the grumpy, demanding and full of shit ones that we call Oxygen Thieves (OTs from here on out).

The OTs are those old people that go shopping at six in the evening or on a Saturday morning when they’ve had the option to go earlier and had all week, you know, the ones that get in your way while you’re trying to pop in to the shop to get something after you’ve been working all day. They are those old people who see someone younger and demand respect from them. I’m sorry but fuck you, you earn a persons respect you don’t just receive it because you managed to live forever. They are the one’s that take advantage of those signs at the banks and wherever else saying “Please allow the elderly and disabled people to the front of the queue”. Disabled people, fine, but you know what, the elderly are quite capable of standing in a queue like anyone else. If you’re 8 months pregnant does it count as being disabled? Because I can imagine a very pregnant woman can feel a lot more discomfort standing in a banks queue for 20 minutes than an old dude who’s just popping down there for the fifth time this week to get his bank statement.

My personal favourite thing about this lot though? They are the ones that get in their cars hopped up on their pain medication or whatever and go out on the road to be a hazard to everyone else. Maybe I’m biased because we have an old age home around the corner but seriously, these people are dangerous, sometimes without the drugs.  I’ve had ones brake erratically in front of me, not stop at stop streets and nearly hit me, swerve and nearly hit the oncoming car and well, we all know those that drive 40 all the ding dong merrily way home.

Perhaps all this goes back to a traumatic experience as a child. Perhaps I should sue my school for skewing my view of old people by making me go to that old age home when I was five and visit some random grumpy old git who terrified the crap out of me. Or perhaps I’m right and we’ll have our own version of “Hurling Day”.

My grandparents on my fathers side are these people, except he sold his car after driving through a third wall. I don’t talk to them anymore though since they poisoned our two cats. I would hurl them myself if I could.

Hi, this is the universe, I got your message

I reckon it must have heard my moaning last week because it sure came together to make sure the world is eerily quiet this morning. No guinea fowl, no cars up and down the road, no neighbours walking around talking…it’s dead. Which is quite disconcerting when you’re dreaming about zombies and wake to a world where everyone seems like they could have gone that route.

It really was an awesome dream though. Standard zombie practice really, people trapped in a house, they’re coming, bolt the doors and arm yourselves etc.

If the world had gone that route this morning I wouldn’t be in any condition to battle it though. It would be like Shaun of the Dead, but I don’t have a cornetto.

My imagination is reminding me that I’ve been very slack about watching my horrors lately. There’s nothing quite like a cheesy b-grade low budget horror flick to put me in a good mood. Do you realise how much funnier half these movies are than some comedies? It’s brilliant.

Soundtrack for my day: Kernkraft 400 – Zombie Nation 

Here comes the Bride, or as this woman sees it, the willing slave

Here I am, reading various sites because it’s Saturday afternoon and whilst I have things to do around the house before I go to a braai this evening, I’m putting them off. Then I came across this wonderfully written bitter piece of work.

For the lazy amongst you, it’s an article written by a woman on marriage and essentially why it’s crap for women. Even though she says it’s not out of bitterness or bitchiness, it really and truly seems to be.

I don’t really see the hype about marriage, it’s just a ceremony and some legal babble but everything essentially stays the same in my mind. In fact, if we ever do it, I’m going to get proposed to with a puppy instead of a ring and the wedding will be a pirate themed wedding in Las Vegas. I’m weird like that, I want a fun weird wacky wedding I won’t have to plan, and, I get an awesome vacation because Las Vegas really is a cool place. The reason for the pirate thing is on the one site I read that they use the line “I now pronounce you pirate and wench” which tickled me and I thought was rockingly good fun.

I know a lot of my friends are very hyped about it though, from the friends dying to walk down the aisle to those going through the hair tearing out process of planning it and for various reasons. They want to show their love for their significant others in front of everyone and declare that, they’re doing it for religious reasons or they just want that day where they ARE the center of the universe.

None of them are feminazis worrying about their father giving them away as if they were property or being bound to this man like a slave. There’s a good reason for this though, normal women don’t think like that.  If you’re a person who’s digs around to find evidence that whatever old tradition is set up to preserve the dominance of men then you need to take a step back and ask yourself why.

Honestly I just found it fascinating that someone who wrote an article dripping with bitterness says they aren’t bitter.

Jingle Bells

Since I have seen a distinct lack of Christmas around Cape Town this year I’m getting into the spirit here all on my own. For the month of December the question of what bloody theme I should use is taken away and a Christmassy looking one will be used! Yay!

Seriously though, I love Christmas, it’s fun, it’s happy, it’s a time of families coming together and being dysfunctional. I mostly love it because I love giving pressies to people and seeing if they really like them as much as I thought they would. This all of course meant I was really disappointed when everywhere I go there’s hardly any decorations or people just getting into the spirit of fun! Whereas the Cow over here enjoys it so much she’s had tinsel up since the middle of November.

Get into the spirit folks! This time comes but once a year and it’s FUN! Be silly and wear Santa hats everywhere (I have a cowboy looking Christmas hat), hang up decorations that can make you feel so good and happy whenever you look at them, do it for the religious reasons too if that’s your thing! Spread the goodwill and cheer with those less fortunate than yourselves, like donating in those charity boxes they put in shops everywhere or buying one of those calenders or something from the SPCA or DARG. Yes, the grumpy moaning cow actually does put her extra crap in these boxes.

24 Days till Christmaaaaaaaaas. And if you’re of another religion, 24 days till a public holidaaaaaaaay.

Seapoint on a Friday afternoon

Absolutely GORGEOUS! I was waiting for the Bull to finish work and this wasn’t a bad place to wait considering the traffic I had to go through from a friends house in Tableview to get there. I was lucky enough to take the pic just as there was a boat crossing over the rippling waves of sunlight.

All done

I’m now trying this wordpress thing, joy to my life. I’ve copied the most recent posts over here from my blogspot blog but I’m going to keep writing there for a few more weeks and phase it out I suppose. This should be interesting.

Karaoke Hour

I got a real subtle hint earlier to post my favourite songs from Songza. Now songza is a lovely site given to the readers of his blog by Richard where you can listen to any song you want basically.
So here they are the ones I could think of:

Bonnie Tyler – Holding out for a Hero

Pet Shop Boys – Always on my mind Actually I prefer the Elvis version but they didn’t have a decent version of it.

Righteous Brothers – Unchained Melody NOT because of Ghost. This is the good stuff I grew up with man.

The Hollies – He aint heavy, he’s my brother

Young MCs – Bust a Move

Panic! At the Disco – I Write Sins not Tragedies

30 Seconds to Mars – The Kill

Bon Jovi – Always

Wild Cherry – Play that funky music

The Knack – My Sharona

Air Supply – All out of Love

And that’s the 11 fave songs of mine I could think of!

Circumcision, the big snip or as I like to call it, torture.

This morning I woke up, trudged around, walked into a wall, had a pee, had breakfast etc etc, all that crap we do in the mornings. I then came through here to my little dark cave and Richard from Cape Town News had left me a little comment that included the word “circumcision”, this really is a word that gets me going.

Everyday thousands of new parents around the world are essentially torturing their newborn baby boys and getting the tips of their penises cut off. Most people don’t say torture when it comes to this but if you’ve ever seen it done that’s what it looks like. A baby in a little plastic chair with their arms and legs strapped in screaming bloody murder because some masochistic bitch/bastard has just cut the tip of their cock off. I really don’t believe that’s right, in my mind, there should be just as much uproar over this that there is over female circumcision but they’ve told people some bullshit reasons why they should get their baby’s circumcised and I hate to say it, it’s mostly the women that lap this up. So often you see new parents in conflict over this because the father says no way and mommy is saying yes we must. I don’t quite see why mommy should have a say considering she doesn’t have a ding a ling.

The fact of the matter is that no matter how many fucking reasons you come up with to justify it to yourself (“It’s more hygienic” etc etc) you are torturing your child all because of a choice you make for it. An irreversible choice. To this I say, how dare you. How dare you mutilate another human beings body because you decide to.
Let your child grow up intact and if they choose to do it themselves later in life then they have that choice!

All natural penises look better anyway, I’m sorry but circumcised penises look weird as hell.
If you would like more information on why you’re a dickhead and why all those reasons you’ve come to believe are bullshit, please click this page, it is a wonderful organisation against infant circumcision and the page linked to above is an entire page with the myths and facts about circumcision including:

Myth #9: Circumcision prevents AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Fact: Some studies show that circumcision has a slight preventive effect for AIDS and some STDs; however, other studies show an insignificant or opposite effect, especially for chlamydia. The bottom line: sexual practices have a much greater effect on the chance of becoming infected than circumcision status. If someone acts on the misconception that circumcision alone will protect them, they are taking unwise chances.

So no one dare bring up that prevents HIV study bullshit. If you require to have a piece of skin removed for the 0.0001% or whatever the fuck number chance it is to prevent AIDS and STDs…well…condoms, heard of them? Or perhaps not fucking that chick you met like 5 minutes ago without protection? Just a thought. Read the fucking site and educate yourself before you chop off your child’s body parts.

*UPDATE* Since I write these posts in a specific fashion i.e. a wild ranting fashion, here is a link to B’s Universe where he has some calmer and very well written posts on circumcision and why it’s crap. I also really like his I’m too tired for sex post. It’s funny.

Kung-Fu Fighting